Phrases of Appalachia

Hello Appalachia!

I polled the Appalachian Facebook masses last week for some phrases you hear in rural mountain communities. I don't think that all these sayings are strictly Appalachian, because I'm sure you also hear them in the south and probably the midwest. but I'm sure if you told someone in California that they're "crazier than an outhouse mouse," they would give you a funny look. The participation I got for writing this post was overwhelming, and I want thank everyone who participated. I couldn't possibly publish so many sayings, so I narrowed it down to my ten favorites. Some of them speak for themselves, and for some of them I included the poster's definition. I can assure you, grammatical infractions are intentional, and I truly think they spice up some of these mottos. So here you go: 

1. Make your bed hard, you turn over often. (Be careful of the choices you make.)
2. Shit fire and save the matches.
3. If you don't hush, I'm gonna give you something to cry about. 
4. Sounds like a dying dog in a hail storm. (Something making awful noise.) 
5. Finer than frog’s hair. (Something that’s really nice or fine.)
6. Gettin' too big for his/her britches (pants). (Someone is being cocky,)
7. I'll dust your britches. (Spanking)
8. Living a champagne life on a beer pocketbook. (Spending money hastily.)
9. Start out like you can hold out. (I think this one means don't bite off more than you can chew.)
10. If you're gonna be stupid, you better be tough.

     I would also like to add a few that I've heard my family use a lot. My dad is fond of describing lazy people by saying "He's never took a lick at a dead snake," which means this person is too lazy to even kill a dead snake, which maybe is difficult task? I'm not in the business of snake killing, so I don't know if it's taxing on the body. My grandpa tells me at least once a week "Don't take no wooden nickels." I'm assuming that means don't let anyone take advantage of you or fool you. And finally, I often catch myself saying "I've never seen the beat," which means I am shocked or can't believe something that just happened.

    I hope you've enjoyed these mountain phrases. I certainly smiled while reading them. Maybe you've even found something quirky to enhance your own vocabulary. A lot of the submissions were creative ways to threaten a spanking, which is a form of discipline that is rapidly fading from society, so maybe ten years from now, you'll tell your kid you're going to tan their hide, and they won't have a clue that their bottom could be in grave danger. I wonder how Appalachian language and dialect will evolve and transform in this booming technological age. I guess we'll see! Thanks for reading! 

*Do you have a favorite Appalachian saying? How did your grandparents threaten your behind? Let me know at mountainbloodwv@gmail.com, or on Facebook under the name MountainBlood WV.